What I do. Professionally, it's been a long road. I guess "professionally" didn't really begin until a few years ago. Before then I basked in the world of the irresponsible - tossing unopened bills to the side and ordering cheap luggage from 2nd rate mail order catalogs. I would walk about as if the 300.00 I just earned for 1 day's work was worth a bit of admiration.
In those days having just finished college, I selected an almost perfect job path. Comedian. Finally I could remain that feelgood, carefree man-boy who really wasn't ready to leave college in the first place. I could associate with younger more vibrant people and...At times...Make them laugh. Guys would envy - girls would dream and I would get paid. All for talking in a French accent or pretending to be funny. It was great! Until I started realizing that the 300.00 I was getting was in fact, hush money. Money meant to keep me eternally irresponsible and naive.
Even then, when I knew that I was enabling my own de-construction, it took me a while to break away and into the world of the living. Now, for others, who are solidly responsible comedians (if there is such a thing) I know this will not be true, as they are solid and...well...responsible - fully integrated adults in a world for the perpetually young. But for me, I was buried under a mound of inaction. All the while hoping I would one day stumble or happen upon that thing or idea or world view that would make me spiritually rich. As it was, all I had to show for my life's work was a bucket of half truths mixed with tradition and religion...oh, and a kickin French accent. Yet, there was something missing - Me. I had become the jokes I was telling. So, I finally stood up and walked away. Sort of...
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