The Future is Now!

Here they are...little bitty things aren't they? They are simply known as #5 and #7. Two little embryos that offer us a bit of hope. Future Children? Maybe. We're prepared for the worst case. But we're also ready for some good news.

It's amazing what science has accomplished. Our Doctor is a Christian man who has been very helpful and supportive through this entire process. It's amazing what a good bedside manner will do for a patient. We find out in a little over a week if these little things decided to stick around. So, for now, we wait. Shelly was great in the whole thing. I admire her immensely. The shots, the anxiety...she's inspiring.

So, for now, we wait, play with our daughter, get ready for Christmas, and realize that through it all, God has made us better people through this journey. He has fashioned us a bit more into His image. He has, not us. We're simply along for the ride.

Shelly and I before the procedure. Very Green in there...for fertility I guess.

Waiting...

I sit, waiting for Shelly to finish with the 1st part of her IVF Procedure. Yes, we've decided to do it. IVF. In Vitro Fertilization. Routine now a days, but 20 or so years ago, a brand new science. We've been trying for some time now. 2 1/2 years or so without luck. Yes we've done the pills, the Doctors...Nothing. We decided to try again and not hold anything back.

Today's the day. I sit, thankful for the life I have been given...For the beautiful woman with which I have been privileged to share life. Even now, I find it difficult to write. I guess I'm rather nervous. I find that my brain tends to work through the issues that arise, but only when it's an inappropriate time to do so. It doesn't absorb the magnitude of the situation until later. Even now as I sit, I am literally feeling lightheaded.

I think about our Daughter who didn't want to let me go this morning. I know she probably sensed we were going somewhere important. She's intuitive in that way.

To think that God might bless us with another child is hard to fathom. The procedure might not work and we are ready for that. However, it just might work as well. Are we ready for that? I thank God for walking with us through this Journey. We haven't been easy to deal with I know that.

I talk with others when difficulties arise and I pray for them. I oftentimes don't pray for myself. I'm not sure why, but today, my prayer is that God's will be done. My prayer is that our children will grow in the light, love and knowledge of God through Jesus Christ. I pray that they will be full of the love of God toward others and that Shelly and I have a part in bringing them life and light to the world.

But for now...I wait...With a light head and a bit of hope. Hope that God is paying attention. Hope that his grace is sufficient...Hope that Shelly's okay...Hope that it just might be a girl...Or a boy...Or, with the odds...Maybe both...

Who is nearer?

“Those that hate goodness are sometimes nearer than those that know nothing at all about it and think they have it already.” the great divorce pg 82

A quote from the great divorce. It's referring to the question of who is able to cross over into heaven?

I've noticed, lately, an attitude of arrogance. The 'I'm right and you're not' thing doesn't work for me. Throughout Jesus' teaching and life, I don't see this arrogance portrayed by him. But realistically, he is the only one who could pull it off, because he was and is right. Yet, he chooses a different approach. I don't wish to belittle these types of people because they probably are right about several things. But, when we start getting an opinion about Christianity and worship, the attitude with some people changes.

Goodness. What does this mean? Does it have anything to do with worship styles or how we do church? Does Christianity have anything to do with when we meet and whether, while we meet, we pray, sing, listen to singing, entertain, laugh, cry, raise our hands or sit in silence? Did Christ come so that we would have rules more abundantly? Did he come so that by our Sunday morning activities we would be saved? Did God send his son into the world to condemn those that don't worship the way our religious tradition implemented? Are we saved because we have new ideas about innovative and meaningful worship?

Of course, we know the answer. But do we know Goodness? This statement says that those who hate goodness are closer to this Goodness of Heaven than those of us who are more interested in our tradition than the lessons of Christ. This hits home. Whether or not you buy into this statement it should give us pause to consider our motives. It moves me. It makes me want to rethink my intentions. It makes me want to discover goodness again. Rethink it. This quote infers that at the least, these people who hate goodness...at least they know what goodness is. The rest of those who consider themselves in the know...well, they're still trying to convince the rest of us through a little arrogance. As for me, I repent for my arrogance...I had a lot at one point. Now, the more I learn, the less I realize I truly know.