Starting Over

I don't guess it's really starting over. It's just a continuation of my journey. Here I sit in the middle of my lunch break from my very first class in my pursuit of a Masters of Arts in Religion. I've put it off as long as possible. the runing joke was that I didn't want to pursue seminary or graduate school in theology because I didn't want to be screwed up for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, I told that Joke to one of my best friends, Dr. Michael Harbour, during one of our regularly scheduled morning coffees several years ago. He thought it was funny, but also a challenge. So, what he proceeded to do for the next 6 years was to screw me up for the rest of my life. His continuing questions and challenges to those things I thought I knew to be hard and fast fact became a bit more, well, soft and slow. I guess I figured that it couldn't be any worse in grad school, so I decided to take the plunge.

This story may sound a bit negative, but what I've discovered is that when your faith is completely shaken, you discover what really lies at the basis for your belief. I would venture to say that most westernized Christian Americans haven't really faced things that would challenge their belief. Maybe we're getting close, especially with the economy the way it is, but it took me 32 years until I came to that point.

Which brings me back to where I am currently. I'm on a break and my brain hurts. A january short course crams in an entire semester's worth of learning in about 5 days. OUCH! I guess it's not that bad. What I've truly come to understand about this starting point is that I've looked up and I realize that I have a long way to go on this journey. But then again, if I could turn the picture around the opposite direction, I might just see how far I've come. So, I trust that God will bless...not necessarily with things, although that would be nice, but with the realization that I haven't screwed things up too badly yet. My journey is interesting. My family is lovely and my God is completley faithful. And I'm not really staring over...I'm just continuing and the road ahead doesn't look too difficult or depressing. It's actually exciting. I hope my children learn that from me. That you don't necessarily start over, you just find yourself in a place where you ust have to 'continue.'