Haiti continued...

The day we arrived, we travelled to a city in the mountain area called Mirabalais. For 3+ hours by 4x4 on more of a wide rocky path up the moutain than a road we reminisced about a joy and beauty of something called "pavement." We arrived at a small School/Church surrounded by some lovely country. They were almost out of school and were waiting for us to arrive. They were polite and all smiles if you got them at the right moment. This picture was not that moment.

Of course after this was taken, I began to turn my viewfinder around as I videotaped them. They began to see themselves on the tiny screen. It seemed as if they tried to be objective as they were curious, but their smiles couldn't be hidden. Most of the kids were so excited to see themselves and their friends on the screen that they all began to mob me trying to catch another glimpse.

Next stop - a small farming village called Pageste....

Haiti

I recently returned from a quick 5 day trip into Haiti. The country is beautiful, but even more importantly, the people are beautiful. I can't quite explain the emotion or the feelings that took place in that brief moment. It continues to hit me in waves of realization as I sit in my nice house watching a tv that's worth a year or more of care for a Haitian orphan. Yes, I know it sounds cliche. Everytime I try to tell people about what I saw, it sounds cliche. I begin to hear Sally Struthers coming out of my mouth as the tears begin to form in my eyes.

It's like trying to describe the color orange to a blind person. It might just be impossible. Sooner or later, you're just going to have to take someone at their word.

While at the orphanage I struck up some friendships with some kids who are not too different from my own daughter and the children I know here in the states. The pictures show kids full of hope. I wondered why. the only explanation is that the Love that Jesus Shows through his people is inexplicably peaceful. When Love is present, so is hope. This is what I saw throughout my visit. Hope.

More later...

Marriage Help

Shelly and I just got back from our first ever Southeast marriage Retreat. It was an exciting weekend. The entire retreat centered around each couple's story. The truth is, story is so important in our culture. We've discovered that so many people don't realize that their stories are not only interesting, but very helpful to others. It's a unique feeling when you rediscover the US in your relationship. It's not two individuals, but one unique US that sets people apart. All in all, the trip was fascinating, fun and very tiring. (Is that possible?)

Also, we remembered just how beautiful Summer's Mill Retreat Center is. This was our view from the front porch of our lodge.

Soul Link 2007

Just finished another Soul Link Youth Conference. This year was an interesting and fun theme. "Called: The Evolution Of A Hero."

With all the Superhero projects in television, movies and books, it seems that the theme begged to be recognized. The world, in it's seeming quagmire of conflict is crying out for something bigger than itself to come to it's long overdue rescue. There really is a deepening desire for something great to break forth. Something or someone great that puts itself second to those in need.

What we did is find ways to compare superheroes to Bible Characters. It worked rather well actually. Comparing Batman to Moses seems a stretch, but to think that they both were born into privilege, both ran away to the wilderness to find themselves, then returned to the land of their birth so that they could spend the rest of their lives serving others seems a perfect simultaneous illustration.

With other analogies such as that, the stage was set to get people to thinking. It worked. I produced a few video segments that supported the theme. One was taking 4 teens to NYC to live the life of Moses in 3 days...(not literally of course, no one was harmed, except a few sheep maybe.) Day 1 was spent in opulence and fun in Manhattan. Day 2 was spent in Long Island learning how to be a a shepherd. Day 3 was spent serving people at a soup Kitchen in the bronx.

It was a fast-paced experience that I'd love to discuss. If you're interested, let me know and I'll tell you about planning, equipment and editing as well as logo/art design and development.

Overall, I was glad when it ended...The last week in February is typically the busiest week of the year for me...Yawn. Now on to the next project...

Super Beginnings

Was doing some research for class tonight and came across a story that occured in Seattle a few weeks ago. For more go to http://www.mysuperproposal.com/

So the story goes, that a guy wanted to propose to his girlfriend of 5 years, but found a way to do it for a superbowl ad. Long story short, after many rollercoaster moments until the last possible minute, the ad ended up on the cutting room floor. They never aired it. What they ended up doing was airing a similar ad during and episode of Veronica Mars. He asked her to marry him and the rest is history...and quite amusing and sweet and poignant today.

In her reaction, I love the fact that she seemed not only surprised, but shocked that it happened. I'm sure it was a flurry of emotion and bewilderment at how it all transpired, but the raw, 'I can't believe you chose me' reaction was pure, simple and beautiful. It made me laugh as well as swallow the apparant lump that had developed in my throat.

I love new beginnings. I love the feeling, the thoughts, the emotions, the grace, mercy and love that is given and received. It was a perfect reminder for my day today.

My wife and I are celebrating our 11th valentines day together. I'm constantly reminded how she not only chose me, but wanted me. Today we have a lovely reminder of our love...in the form of a sweet little 4 year old girl. It is a happy valentines day.

The Space Between

Got a comment from a friend who said, why haven't you updated your blog? To be honest, I haven't really wanted to. I blogged about our IVF procedure...and, well, round 1 didn't take. We plan on doing yet 1 more...probably the last one. It does get rather expensive. So, I've been a bit standoffish on the writing. It's all part of life really. Sometimes things go your way and sometimes things don't. Actually, most times, things don't go your way or how you planned it. Maybe if your a part of the fortunate few who always get what they want, well, your either spoiled rotten, or completely detached from reality...usually it's both. But for the rest of us, we are occasionally blessed with moments of satisfaction, til we want something else.

I do believe that we aren't meant to be fully happy or satisfied..."yet" anyways. Maybe I'm a bit cynical. But I don't recall reading anywhere in the bible Jesus saying, "I have come to give you life..and happiness." Or "sing and be happy." Translated to mean, (shut up and don't rock the boat. You'll eat what your given and pretend to like it just like the rest of us.) [maybe that's in the first book of opinions.]

Then I come to the realization that we constantly live in the moment between satisfaction and dissatisfaction. If ever felt, they only last for a moment. But that's where the Grace of God comes into play. He says, "my grace is sufficient." My response is usually, "ok...whatever that means. I guess I'll wait and see." But it's true. We are in constant struggle for or against something. Survival in it'self is a miracle.

I guess I say all this to remind myself that God is gracious. He has met my needs and life could be much worse. Sound Depressing? Sometime it is, sometime it isn't. It's life.

The Future is Now!

Here they are...little bitty things aren't they? They are simply known as #5 and #7. Two little embryos that offer us a bit of hope. Future Children? Maybe. We're prepared for the worst case. But we're also ready for some good news.

It's amazing what science has accomplished. Our Doctor is a Christian man who has been very helpful and supportive through this entire process. It's amazing what a good bedside manner will do for a patient. We find out in a little over a week if these little things decided to stick around. So, for now, we wait. Shelly was great in the whole thing. I admire her immensely. The shots, the anxiety...she's inspiring.

So, for now, we wait, play with our daughter, get ready for Christmas, and realize that through it all, God has made us better people through this journey. He has fashioned us a bit more into His image. He has, not us. We're simply along for the ride.

Shelly and I before the procedure. Very Green in there...for fertility I guess.

Waiting...

I sit, waiting for Shelly to finish with the 1st part of her IVF Procedure. Yes, we've decided to do it. IVF. In Vitro Fertilization. Routine now a days, but 20 or so years ago, a brand new science. We've been trying for some time now. 2 1/2 years or so without luck. Yes we've done the pills, the Doctors...Nothing. We decided to try again and not hold anything back.

Today's the day. I sit, thankful for the life I have been given...For the beautiful woman with which I have been privileged to share life. Even now, I find it difficult to write. I guess I'm rather nervous. I find that my brain tends to work through the issues that arise, but only when it's an inappropriate time to do so. It doesn't absorb the magnitude of the situation until later. Even now as I sit, I am literally feeling lightheaded.

I think about our Daughter who didn't want to let me go this morning. I know she probably sensed we were going somewhere important. She's intuitive in that way.

To think that God might bless us with another child is hard to fathom. The procedure might not work and we are ready for that. However, it just might work as well. Are we ready for that? I thank God for walking with us through this Journey. We haven't been easy to deal with I know that.

I talk with others when difficulties arise and I pray for them. I oftentimes don't pray for myself. I'm not sure why, but today, my prayer is that God's will be done. My prayer is that our children will grow in the light, love and knowledge of God through Jesus Christ. I pray that they will be full of the love of God toward others and that Shelly and I have a part in bringing them life and light to the world.

But for now...I wait...With a light head and a bit of hope. Hope that God is paying attention. Hope that his grace is sufficient...Hope that Shelly's okay...Hope that it just might be a girl...Or a boy...Or, with the odds...Maybe both...

Who is nearer?

“Those that hate goodness are sometimes nearer than those that know nothing at all about it and think they have it already.” the great divorce pg 82

A quote from the great divorce. It's referring to the question of who is able to cross over into heaven?

I've noticed, lately, an attitude of arrogance. The 'I'm right and you're not' thing doesn't work for me. Throughout Jesus' teaching and life, I don't see this arrogance portrayed by him. But realistically, he is the only one who could pull it off, because he was and is right. Yet, he chooses a different approach. I don't wish to belittle these types of people because they probably are right about several things. But, when we start getting an opinion about Christianity and worship, the attitude with some people changes.

Goodness. What does this mean? Does it have anything to do with worship styles or how we do church? Does Christianity have anything to do with when we meet and whether, while we meet, we pray, sing, listen to singing, entertain, laugh, cry, raise our hands or sit in silence? Did Christ come so that we would have rules more abundantly? Did he come so that by our Sunday morning activities we would be saved? Did God send his son into the world to condemn those that don't worship the way our religious tradition implemented? Are we saved because we have new ideas about innovative and meaningful worship?

Of course, we know the answer. But do we know Goodness? This statement says that those who hate goodness are closer to this Goodness of Heaven than those of us who are more interested in our tradition than the lessons of Christ. This hits home. Whether or not you buy into this statement it should give us pause to consider our motives. It moves me. It makes me want to rethink my intentions. It makes me want to discover goodness again. Rethink it. This quote infers that at the least, these people who hate goodness...at least they know what goodness is. The rest of those who consider themselves in the know...well, they're still trying to convince the rest of us through a little arrogance. As for me, I repent for my arrogance...I had a lot at one point. Now, the more I learn, the less I realize I truly know.

Turning Point

As in any great story, there comes a moment when the protagonist is faced with a decision. One which will change his life forever. Regardless of the decision he cannot go back to life as it was. This new dilemma will forever change the way he sees both his life and the world around him. When I read the story of Abraham and those before him, I get the sense that there were not just one, but many moments of decision. Moments that changed the course of history. Of course then, they probably didn't think that much of it, but as we look back, those innocuous little choices have had serious consequences.

In the Great Divorce, our main character sees many people in the midst of the choice. Of course here, on the frontiers of heaven, the spirit people or 'the solids' understand fully the ramifications of the decision that is to be made. However, those ghostly people who are in the midst of the conversation consider it nothing more than yet another series of words which they must endure. They do not understand how precious the situation is.

This seems to be the norm doesn't it? When I read this book, I remember the countless times that I have been faced with certain choices that now, as I look back on those decisions, have had enormous impact on my life today. It makes me reconsider my words when in a heated discussion. It makes me consider carefully my choices when dealing with people at church and at work.

The moments come without warning. And there is grace and mercy in those moments as well. How? Because God keeps sending those choices our way. To quote a character from the movie Vanilla Sky, "it's one more chance to turn it all around." If this book is possible, then that means that God keeps giving us a chance to make it right. He still pursues us and wants us to know that this is the moment...This could be the turning point in our life. What is our choice?

Wandering

Have you ever been somewhere so unfamiliar that you acted as if you knew exactly where you were in order not to draw attention to yourself? Probably happens all the time huh? I find myself in situations - locations where I feel completely out of place, but instead of feeling uncomfortable, I simply pretend to be at home. It's my defense mechanism.

What I find interesting about the main character's beginning journey is that he is surrounded by people who don't seem to be so concerned about the fact that they are all headed for a destination that is completely unfamiliar. They all seem to have it all together. They all seem to know exactly where they are going when in reality, not one person has a clue. They don't even seem to be enjoying the ride. They all tell their stories, and cry about how they've been put upon and mistreated and maligned. They share their plans to revolutionize the barren city below. Conversation seems intelligent, but beneath it all lies complete insecurity.

When it comes right down to it, none of us really know what's going on in life. A child dies, a mother disappears, one trusted friend rejects another, sickness creeps in. Some people walk around like they understand what's going on. Truth is, their just as lost as the rest of us, or they're wandering like the rest of us. Some of us aren't so lost as much as we are wandering. Tolkien said (roughly), "not all who wander are lost." Most of us wander. Some might have a better sense of the way than others, but for the most part, we're all trying to make it the best way we know how. I think for me, I'll just admit that I have got little clue as to why or what is about to happen, but I'll try my best to enjoy the journey.